Graduation and Parenting

For those of you that are experiencing a child graduating this year, please know that it’s going to be ok.

Everyone is different in how they work through this transition of being a parent with kids in our home to being a parent of adult children. I was one of those parents that had a tough time with our first child leaving for college last year. This year, I have a new hope for our baby girl graduating because I have been through it once.

Even though we will miss them, over time we find a rhythm. Over time I realized I hadn’t lost our son but that he still needed me in his life for many things. Over time I have come to enjoy watching him grow and develop into God’s masterpiece.

God loves our children more than we know how and can be trusted as their Heavenly Father. If God could help us with our life and guide us towards His path, He is able to do the same for them.

There is one thing I will continue to do in my role as a mother and that is to be my children’s prayer warrior. I pray for the right people to be put in their lives that want a relationship with Jesus. I pray for safety and friends that make good choices. I pray for their future spouse and that faith will be passed on from generation to generation in our family.

Our kids know how much we love them and when things get confusing or they need a listening ear, they know they can reach out to us. If your relationship has been good before they leave for college, have confidence that they will still want you in their life.

There are some great resources out there with organizations like “Focus on the Family” that can help with suggestions on how to parent in this new phase. For some of us, there is no book or person that is going to make the pain go away except God and time.

Some things I have found helpful with modern technology are “Facetime” and “Find Friends”. Facetime really helps when you can’t see each other for 4 months straight. Find Friends is a free two-way tool that helps you locate each other when you can’t reach each other by phone. It has helped give me a sense of relief and peace of mind to be able to see a general location of where my child is as I wait until they are available to talk later.

Another practical thing to do is discuss expectations with your child. Here are some topics we discussed:

How often they want to talk on the phone each week and would it be better if they called you.

Financial responsibilities.

Expectations during school breaks – transportation, chores, rules changes.
To keep in touch with siblings too.

Our role as a parent shifts and our kids need to know that they are not forgotten. They need to know that we love them and have confidence in them. They need to feel we are there to support them through the good times and the bad. Also, that we want to celebrate every milestone with them as we show them how proud we are of them. If they don’t call often, this is a normal part of spreading their wings and it is part of the process of having their own life.

I know I want the best for our kids, God’s best. So, I need to trust God and His plans for their lives.

Hebrews 11:1~ “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”